I had a prompt from an app that told me to talk about something I am proud of. Besides the normal family, salvation, career, etc…I am proud of my weightloss.

I got up to 350 lbs!!!!! Once I stopped losing I was 139 lbs. I’m 5’7 or 5’8. Depends on who measures me. I grew up skinny. Very skinny. I had a hysterectomy, my thyroid went nuts, I started nursing school, and I was inactive. Sedentary almost all the time. Everything was pushed aside while I studied. Housework, family duties, my own heath. The list goes on. My weight went up, and up, and up. Seemed like overnight, but I know it wasn’t.

It wasn’t just the surgery that led to weight loss. I worked my ass off…literally. I started running. I never thought I would run. I was very active until my mid 20s but running was NEVER in my activities. I found that I was slow. Slow on my feet was better than sedentary on my butt. I made some play lists and found that everytime my feet would pound the pavement, I felt better. I felt happy, healthy, and strong. Prior to weightloss surgery (WLS), I couldn’t stand for longer than 10 mins until up I was in excruciating pain like my back was going to pop in 2 pieces.

I started Crossfit. I ran on my off days. I loved life. Now, I feel the weight creeping back on as I’m not active. I’m looking at a probable Lupus diagnosis and I hurt. My joints hurt. My bones hurt. I’m so fatigued I don’t feel like doing anything. Sometimes the tips of my fingers turn white and feel frostbit. It HURTS. I’ve done a little yoga. I even tried a Crossfit class again. At this time…I just can’t do it. I need to lose about 50 lbs to feel good again. I have an appt with a rheumatologist Feb 16th. I hope it’s a game changer. I’m so miserable and feel like a prisoner in my own body…again. I wake up and feel like I’m coming down with the flu. My temperature fluctuates so much. My eyes are extremely sensitive, my hair is thinning. Anyway, enough about that…this is what I’m proud of and hope to never be in that physical shape again. Right now I’m on a dangerous slippery slope being inactive. I want comfort food because I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. These pictures are a good reminder for me to be extra careful as I go through this diagnosis process and figure out what is taking over my body.

These pictures inspire me. I am FREAKING proud of what I did, how I felt, and how much I accomplished.

Pictures for inspiration below.