I started a new shift at work 2 weeks ago. I don’t get off until the kids are in bed. We haven’t been able to do anything. They still have Christmas gifts we haven’t taken from the box. Since we were sick on Christmas day it has taken us a while to start to feel better.

Today I value time. I had the day off and the little kids were home. Since August our daily routine has been so inconsistent. I worked out of town for a contract position. Silvie was born 11 weeks early. Then Kennedy had brain surgery with one problem after the other. I feel like I always just expect them to adapt, but they are 4 and 7. Kimber has had some difficult behavior and i know she just needed some attention. I had a Iot more planned, but ran out of steam to do it.

I did get all the Christmas decorations down. That was a lot. I had 7 trees up this year. 6 small and 1 large. I tend to go overboard. Not just with Christmas, but with most things in life. Last night, River (4) was awake when I went down for water around 11p. He helped me with the tangled mess of lights. He asked a lot of questions about his adoption. We adopted him and Kimber in 2019. We had them in foster care from Oct 2018. He really doesn’t remember life before us, but Kimber (7) has little moments of remembrance.

We have always told them they were adopted and they were with us at the adoption and we have pictures. We have never once considered not telling them just so they could have something said years down the road and hate us. I answer the best I can, but it’s hard sometimes.

After the Christmas decorations were down, we ordered Chinese food and watched one of my favorite movies of my youth, Space Camp. Today, I value time. The time to get things done. The time to sit down when I was tired. The time I have spent with the little kids. It’s hard to try to manage life with 2 adult kids, 2 little kids, work, husband, family, friends, and a granddaughter. Many other things to add to that, like my grandmother who hasn’t been feeling well. I need more time, but value the time off today.