2021 has worn out its welcome.

What happened in 2021?

My grandfather passed away unexpectedly in March.

Prior to his passing, we found out my son and his wife were expecting a baby, and also that my 1st niece was having a baby.

I became an ordained minister via the internet and performed a wedding ceremony. That was pretty cool because I’m not a public speaker. I think it went pretty well, and I’m usually very hard on myself.

Our family looked forward to the gender reveals of the babies, and the excitement of the 2 new additions helped us all to ease our sadness after losing the patriarch of our family. There are not enough words to begin to do my Papaw justice on what an impact he had on all of our lives. He was the most kind, loving, and generous man. He had a sense of humor that would just draw you in. He was so loved, and because he was so loved he left a huge hole in our hearts as we have tried to process and grieve his passing.

When the time came for the gender reveals, we first found out my 1st grandchild would be a girl! Oh happy day! I was so excited to start shopping. The gender reveal was a mixture of pink and blue Peeps. The Peeps were in Easter eggs and there was one more pink than blue and that’s how we knew.

My niece and her husband had a giant balloon drawn to look like a Pokeball. Once it was popped, blue came out. 💙 This was super cool because now we were adding a boy and a girl in the months of Sept (boy) and Oct (girl).

Spring came and went. With the end of spring, a job I was working had a 6 month contract with the option to stay permanent at the end of 6 months. I wasn’t happy in this job, and felt I needed to find something else. It was work from home, and I was hooked. Some people enjoy the social interaction of going to an office everyday. I do like that part, but I like my PJs even more. My pjs and sleeping until the last possible minute. And dogs. And cats. I love being home with my pets. Kids and work from home? Welllll, we had to put our youngest in preschool. Too many times of running through a Zoom call naked or yelling, “mom I need you to wipe my butt…” during meetings.

My husband had moved to work remotely as his office moved all possible people to work from home due to COVID. He got the bug…the work from home bug. When he found out he was going to have to start going back into the office, he started looking for something else that was remote. It didn’t take him too long. I’ll just say he was gainfully employeed by another company and never had to return to work in the office.

It was also around this time that I received a call from my oldest daughter (Kennedy’s) boyfriend that they had been in a wreck. He said they were both OK, but he was going to hang up and go check on Kennedy and would call me back with an update. I keep working, thinking it was a minor fender bender. Then her boyfriend’s brother called to say they were cutting Kennedy out of the car and taking her to the ER. After seeing pictures from the crash, it was a miracle she only sustained a concussion and broken rib. Head imaging showed she had a Chiari Brain Malformation. The next few months were worse and worse with headache, trouble swallowing, and balance issues. She got in to see a neurosurgeon and surgery was planed for September 24th .

Some people would go crazy working from home and being with their spouse 24/7. To me, that was a perk. I don’t just love him, I actually like him too. I love getting to just have lunch with him or talk to him throughout the day. I took a few months off before I decided what I wanted to do next. I knew I wanted to be home, but just needed to get my foot in the door somewhere.

We took the 2 little kids (6, 4) to the beach for summer vacation. I also have 2 big kids (23, 28) who have their own homes and lives. While we were at the beach, I applied for a position that was just too good to be true. So,what happened? I was called within the hour for an interview. This was going to be a position as a RN on medical compliance team at a center for migrant kids. The company paid VERY well…like $40 more an hour than I had ever been paid before. I would be gone 1-2 weeks at a time and they would fly me back and forth during my offtime. I would have a rental car while there, all lodging, and all meals provided. I interviewed and within several days. I was offered a position. It would start almost immediately. This was a unique opportunity. After being in a tiny, rented 2BR condo at the beach, 1-2 weeks away at a time sounded like heaven. Don’t judge. It was a rough week. This was around the 1st week of August.

August 8th I received a call from my son. Logan isn’t one to call just to chat. I knew something was up. We had just had their baby shower the day before. They racked up! When I answered, he said they were pulling into the hospital because Chelsie was having contractions. She was only 29 weeks pregnant. As a RN, I tried to remain calm. I told them not to worry and there were plenty of treatments that could delay labor if she was in labor. Due to COVID restrictions I wasn’t even able to go be with them. It seemed like it was no time at all until I received a message that the baby was going to be born that day. I cried. I prayed. I waited by the phone. I tried to distract myself, but all I could do was stare at my phone waiting for a message or call. The next message was that they were going to transport her from Bristol to JC where a NICU would be on-site and prepared for baby girl. The next message said there was no time for transport. A NICU team from jC would be coming to Bristol and baby would be med flighted to JC. I have a lot of faith, and I am a Christian. I am human, and I am a worrier. I know scripture tells us not to be anxious. That is hard to do. Everytime I heard a helicopter fly over I wondered if it carried my granddaughter that was being born 11 weeks early.

Seemed like so much time went by, but it really wasn’t that long. Baby Silvie was born. The medical staff prepared them that she may not come out crying and her color may not be good. She came out with nice, loud lungs. Within 2-3 hours she was stabilized enough not to need air transport, but could go by EMS. She was on a ventilator and had so many little wires and tubes coming from her tiny little body. She was 3 lbs 5 oz. 15 1/2 in long. Noone except parents were allowed in the NICU to see her. We didn’t know what to expect. We knew she had a long road ahead of her though. Little did I know on August 8, 2021 just how much I would be praying in the coming months.

2 weeks later it was time to go on my 1st trip to Texas for the new job. What I was so eager to go at one time had turned to dread. I hated to leave my family with so much going on. I needed to do this for our family. My few months off had slowed down our progress we were making on getting debt paid off. I made it to Texas and had never felt more alone in my life. I was staying at what was like a man camp. It was where a lot of men working in the oil fields stayed. There was a dining hall and that was where I would have my meals. The accommodations were comfortable and safe, but definitely nothing fancy. The next day after traveling all day was when my 1st shift would start.

I was to start a 14 day stretch where I would work 12 hour days. My health had not been well for several months. I had bad fatigue, frequent low grade temps, joint pain, and a host of other symptoms. I just felt like crap. Every morning I was nauseated. No chance of pregnancy. I was 46 years old with 2 grown kids and the 2 younger kids we adopted.

I had a hysterectomy in my mid 20s. Work was odd to say the least. I enjoyed my time for the most part. Worked with an amazing team on compliance along with people from the CDC and other medical professionals. Day 13, I was sick. I was so sick that I couldn’t even lift my head without wanting to throw up. I was dizzy. I was sick. They offered to take me to the ER. I declined. I just knew I had COVID. We were tested every 3 days, but we were surrounded by it. I was starting to mentally prepare myself for being away even longer from my family. We were in different time zones,and I didn’t always get to talk to the little kids. By the time I was off work, they were in bed. Almost every night when I got off the phone with my husband, I was homesick. I cried a lot in the beginning. What had I gotten myself into? I’m not a traveling kind of mom. If I travel, I want my family or friends with me. Day 14 came and I went to the kids camp and went straight to the COVID test site. I was negative. I felt better than the day before but I wasn’t 100%. I think I powered through only because I knew I was going home the next day.

Finally my 2 weeks off had arrived. My husband and kids were at the airport to pick me up. I was never so happy to be home in all my life. I was exhausted. It felt better being 20 mins from Silvie than to be 2000miles away. She was still holding on and her little body was getting stronger. Some days it was harder than others. Many setbacks but many progressive moments also. We took every step forward and thanked God for seeing us all through this time. My Texas team knew that when we came back, I would be a mess because Silvie would be closer to coming home, and Kennedy would be having brain surgery.

2 days after I came home, I received a bunch of labs that showed my cortisol was extremely low, my hormones were just about nonexistent, and I had pretty significant inflammation markers. That made my Texas illness make sense. I was exhausted and my body couldn’t go another day like that. I was trying to pour from an empty cup. I was told I would need to take about 6 months off to fully recover. Prior to my next Texas trip, it was learned that our contract had been ended. So, that was kind of like God knowing I didn’t have it in to me to do another 14 day stretch. Plus it allowed me to be in TN closer to Silvie, closer to all of my family, and be home for Kennedy’s brain surgery.

Somewhere in between these events, my niece had her baby (Haizen) after being in labor for DAYS. She did great and they are both doing wonderful now. He’s a handsome little fella!! It was weeks before we got to meet him because of Covid.

Nearly a month later, I still was exhausted. Now it was time for Kennedy’s surgery. Only 1 person allowed to visit at a time because of COVID. Her boyfriend stayed with her. The nurse in me had so many questions. He tried to answer the best he could. What I found out was that Kennedy was in excruciating pain and in ICU. The next day I went to see her. Her BF had to work, so I was the visitor for the day. I worked as a hospice nurse for several years and never did I see anyone in the amount of pain she was in. It was awful. She was in ICU for days and then moved to a step-down floor. I don’t even remember the entire chain of events because I was staying at the hospital most nights. I watched her sleep some nights, afraid that she wasn’t going to wake up if I closed my eyes. She was only getting worse. Her surgeon did a lumbar puncture. It was determined that she had meningitis. The pain was so bad. After many days in the hospital, discharge day was here. (Prior to this, Silvie was finally discharged from NICU after a 2 month stay.) Kennedy was going to come home finally. This was supposed to be a 3 day stay in the hospital but it was weeks. A PICC line was placed which sent her heart into all sorts of funky rhythms. She now had a PICC and a 24 hour heart monitor to wear at home. She came home to stay at my house so I could do her IV antibiotics.

She was with me about a week. Clear drainage started leaking from her incision site. Turned out to be cerebrospinal fluid. Great! Now she had a CSF leak. Another hospital admission. Lumbar puncture and drain again. This time showed she had pseudomonas growing in her CSF. Another several weeks in the hospital and lots of pain later, she comes back to my house with more IV antibiotics.

We got to meet Silvie for the 1st time in this time period and got to hold her for the 1st time. Love, love, love. There is nothing like having a grandchild. Now I know why my grandparents spoiled us so much growing up.

November 1st, 2021 I found out one of my best friends from middle and high-school passed away after a very brief bout with stomach cancer. Life just isn’t fair sometimes. She was a great person who lit up any room she was in. She had 2 little girls who now will grow up without their mom. At this point, I’m just exhausted in every sense of the word. Mentally, physically, spiritually.

Late November, Kennedy was having major back pain. Vomiting every day. No end in sight. She is miserable. 6 hours in the ER and they spot a blockage in her kidney. Another stay in the hospital with surgery. She had a kidney stone blocking the flow. Not long after that, I had a kidney stone. Mine was minor. After it passed, several days later I had another one.

Kennedy tested + for COVID and later her boyfriend did also. This girl can’t catch a break.

Update on Silvie…she has colic and screams alllll the time. Later found out she is lactose intolerant.

Let’s add another terrible event for 2021. My aunt had a stroke and didn’t recover. She passed several days later at the age of 55. She left behind 2 kids in their 20s and 2 young grandkids.

11/8/21 I started a new job that is a work from home. So far so good on that. Pay is decent and great benefits. 6 weeks into my job, Dec 20th, I notice I had double vision. I have many eye problems so figured it was just my eyes. Went down to fix lunch on my break. No taste or smell. 1 Walgreens test later, + for COVID. The next day my husband gets sick. He was negative but kept feeling bad. Christmas Day, we tested him again. He was +. Tested the 4yr old…positive also. 7 year old is negative. Christmas came and went. Didn’t get to see Silvie, Logan, or anyone else in the family EXCEPT Kennedy and her BF stayed here Christmas Eve. She fixed supper. Then they played Santa so we could go to bed. She helped me fix a meal on Christmas Day and they were able to meet most of the energy of the little kids. They were a little further along in COVID recovery than we were at that point.

4 days later I turned 47. Quarantined COVID birthday with some doordashed KFC and an Instacart bday pie.

Here it is NYE, and I still can’t taste or smell. The kids are driving us nuts with their constant fighting, but today I’m thankful. Although it has been a crap shoot of a year, we both have a job, we survived COVID, we have a perfect granddaughter, a handsome great-nephew, 4 healthy kids, a daughter in law I love like she is mine, a great family, and in-laws that can’t be topped. I’m thankful this year is almost over. Happy New Year’s Eve…then I just heard Betty White died.

Bring on 2022…I can’t take any more!